This past weekend for me has been full of love, tears, brokenness, emotions, and hopefulness. For three full days I had been placed with nothing but beautifully broken women of all ages and races. It amazes me how much I could relate to every singe one of them in multiple ways.
Do you sometimes feel lonely? Guilty from things you have done in the past? Or perhaps out of place wherever you go?
Thats exactly how I’ve felt many times for the past years. I was always socially awkward and struggled to keep a conversation going (which I’m still working on :)). I felt guilty for finding pleasure in alcohol which always helped me get out of my comfort zone. And, I never seem to perfectly fit in to any social group, so I thought. Feeling this way is what eventually lead me into depression and anxiety.
I am twenty-five years old and I’m finally now comfortable with who I am and what I’m becoming. This past year for me has been a painful blessing. You know whats funny? I would have never thought that a broken heart would have lead me to a place of unconditional love.
I always thought that finding “the one” would complete me and forever feel happy in love. But the truth is, all of what I’ve gone through from suicidal attempts, eating disorders, having sex before marriage has all lead me to see what real and unconditional love is!
I am now part of a young adult group at my local church, and I just had the most amazing experience at a great banquet held for all women of Christ.
“I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” ~John 14:6
“These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” ~John 15:11
I can’t stress it enough of how important it is to seek God for happiness. Yes, we can live life without Him, but no words can describe the feeling of how much better it is when you DO life with God! Our lives will always have struggles but you don’t have to go through them alone.
“If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.” ~John 14:14
This verse proves it! God want’s you to ask Him for help, but YOU also have to be willing to do the work.
Something that stuck to me this weekend from a great speaker at the banquet was how she explained how grace works. She gave an example of a person being pulled over by a cop after she was speeding and how the cop not only let her go without a ticket, but also mentioned she would be granted a lower premium in her car insurance, WOW! Thats how God works. God gives us unconditional love and everything we have is because of His great grace, even if we don’t deserve it. Another women explained the word “justified” that also goes with Gods grace.Just-if-ied meaning, just if i’d never sinned. Isn’t that amazing!? So, just imagine, if you simply obey Gods laws how much happier and free of guilt and condemnation you’d be. We deserve happiness and much more, but so does He!
My point here is that we are all broken people but that’s what brings us closer to God and to be surrounded by people who choose to be disciples of God by showing that same unconditional love no matter what our circumstances are. Do good, and trust God… He will always lead you to the right direction…