Are You tired of wondering about who you’re supposed to be in this world? Seeking happiness in romanic relationships that never last? Or, perhaps longing for a significant position and searching for careers that will fulfill that desire?
We’re all guilty of having these thoughts and desires. We seek happiness in things and positions that will never fully fill that void in our hearts for the long term. And it’s true, maybe we will never fully be able to push away those desires, but it’s okay as long as it’s for the right reasons.
Maybe we need to switch the question from who am I to, Who’s am I?
For a long time I’ve personally longed for fulfillment in material possessions and wanting to feel significant. I searched for answers that only left me more confused and hopeless and towards pursuing the same old things such as; getting into toxic relationships, going into debt, hanging out in bars/nightclubs only to do what the world was doing to not feel alone and left out, I tried numbing my feelings with alcohol. But the only thing I gained were shackles and chains that kept me in a comfortable jail cell accompanied by other lost souls.
I remember one day, maybe months before I chose to accept Christ as my Savior, my pastor spoke to me about a story in the Bible (“Jesus and the Woman of Samaria” ~John 4.) Before he shared the woman’s story with me, I had just finished explaining my pain through a relationship that I simply couldn’t understand why it wasn’t working out. I was feeling unloved and like a failure because I had already gone through a divorce and now my second serious relationship (who I wasn’t married to) wasn’t working out. I couldn’t quite understand at the moment why my pastor compared my sadness to this woman’s story, but now months after accepting Christ as my Lord and through my studies I fully understand why! Not only did God allow my pastor to plant that seed in my mind, it has fully sprouted and become rooted in me.
This woman from Samaria had been married five times and the man she was currently with was not her husband. I can relate to her in how she felt and why she might have not married the sixth man. I had only been married one time, but that one failure caused me enough pain to fall into the world’s ways of living that are not honorable to God. But I didn’t know God then the way I know Him now.
The story of this woman ends by many Samaritans from that town believing in Jesus because of her testimony, (her encounter with Jesus at the well.) I can only imagine how free she felt as Jesus spoke to her and knew her heart. My testimony felt the same after I read this chapter and continue to read God’s word.
God DOES know our hearts. He knows our pain, regrets, failures and desires. And he surely is merciful. I still at times struggle with fear because of past pain, but it doesn’t stop me from becoming who God wants me to become. The important thing is that I am not where I used to be, and that the way my life started doesn’t have to be the way it ends…
If you’re feeling stuck and lost in your own negative thoughts, seek Jesus and the more you know who he really is, the more you’ll long to become more like him instead of wanting to find happiness and fulfillment in worldly things.
Do good, and TRUST God… 😉