Emotional & Physical Abuse

Isn’t it so easy to blame ourselves for almost everything that happens to us? We trust people so much that we tend to find excuses for their own behaviors.

“They didn’t mean to…”

Or, “they must have had a bad day…”

And, “they weren’t sober when they said it…”

I totally get it! We love someone so much that we let them off the hook simply because it’s the easiest thing to do, yet we don’t realize how much harm we are causing ourselves by continuing to excuse misbehavior.

Of course, it may not just be the fact that we love someone that much that we “let it go.” From my experiences, I think it also begins with lack of confidence due to other past failures and hurts that it makes it so much easier to become victims of emotional and physical abuse…

My sexual abuse at 16

Let me share one of my childhood abuse that led me to begin my lack of confidence and self-love.

At the age of 16, I dated a guy that was 21 years of age. I have had two previous short term boyfriends before him, but this one was a bit different. My parents knew a bit more of him. They would only let me see him occasionally throughout the week, but never away from our home. We sat on a bench that was on the side of the kitchen window where my family could see us. (Ugh, I hated it.) About six months into the relationship, my parents finally loosened up and allowed me to drive to the mall with him. (I was so excited!) Long story short, while I was looking through clothes on a rack, I remember him looking at me up and down very closely. He asked that we leave the mall soon, and once we got to his burgundy Chevy Tahoe, he wanted us to sit in the back seat “to talk” as if we were at my parents home on the bench. I didn’t think anything of it, so I agreed.

Then, as soon as we closed the door, he began touching me like he’d never done before. I pushed him off a few times, but he kept insisting. I had no idea why he was doing this. I was so naive….

I won’t get into details on this blog post, but you can only imagine the confusion and betrayal I had felt at that moment. The only thing I can tell you is that, I wish I would have never left that bench back at home…

Continual Abuses

I would love to tell you that after I ended that relationship after that incident happened was the last of my physical/emotional abuses, but it wasn’t. I married an even older guy at the age of 18. Although there may have been very few good times, most of them were full of lies, cheating, and our fights were like a boxing match in my parents basement where we lived.

This and a lot of other things that i’m choosing to leave out for now, caused me to attempt suicidal, cutting myself, binge eating and vomiting, etc…

I didn’t realize that everything that I was allowing to happen in my life was the cause of past pain and failures. I had no idea that I was dead in real life. I continued to accept peoples’ mistreatments to rule my life, and all because I didn’t know the truth…

New Life

The truth is, I didn’t know God as much as I “thought” I did. I never studied His word in the past. But the past is all in the past, and I am a new creation. I’m falling in love with the one I should have been in love with from the beginning. My Lord and savior continues to teach me the way of life, and what I should accept in my life. My Lord will always have my back, and the best part is, He is the only one who can repay all that was done in my life.

“Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall posses a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy.” ~Isaiah 60:22

Trust God, and Do Good 🙂

The ESV Bible is one of the bibles I own for personal study. Very easy to read and it’s perfect size to carry with you.. Click the picture below to order yours! (Affiliated link)

  21 comments for “Emotional & Physical Abuse

  1. Still Sealed With Love!
    April 29, 2018 at 10:32 pm

    I’m so happy for you and the strength that God has given you. You are an overcomer. The Bible says when you are converted go and strengthen your brother, Luke 22:32. The Message Bible says it like this, “When you have come through the time of testing, turn to your companions and give them a fresh start.” This is exactly what you are doing. Celebrate the healthy life that you are leading now!

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 30, 2018 at 8:06 am

      Wow!!! Thank you so much! This is so rewarding to me. I had no idea what God was doing in my life when I was going through so much, but now I understand. I know He’s not finished with me and there’s so much more to grow, but I’m very excited to keep learning from Him and sharing His love. I really appreciate your comment! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. April 26, 2018 at 2:23 pm

    Thank you for your courage to share your story. Holding you in holy prayer knowing that God is always leading you to your highest Truth – back to Love. XO, Evelyn

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 4:39 pm

      Thank you Evelyn! I really appreciate the support and prayers! God for sure is working through me or else I couldn’t have shared this on my own strength. Xoxo 😘

      Like

  3. Dee
    April 26, 2018 at 11:09 am

    Such an inspirational story! I’m sorry you had to go through so much, but am happy that you have come through it to be a source of inspiration for others!

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 4:03 pm

      It’s all worth it now though! God works all things for good! Thanks for the support!

      Like

  4. April 26, 2018 at 5:40 am

    Wow! What a powerful article! I’m so sorry to hear about your abuse. I will keep your healing in my prayers. What made you turn to God? What happened that made you start reading the bible? I like to hear that “a-ha” moment for people. For me, I was tired of feeling hopeless and one day God led me to listen to Joel Osteen. Also how did you get out of your last relationship? That had to be so scary for an 18 year old. So sorry for all the questions. I really liked your article!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 3:27 pm

      I was honestly at rock bottom and I wanted a new life so bad that I ran to God. I wanted to learn about him and the more I did the more interesting reading the Bible became to me. Becoming more like His image is so interesting and simply obeying His commands as I learn from Him keeps me going. I love that you turned to God too! Joel is great! I’ve been listening to Joyce Meyer for a while now and I enjoy it every morning! It’s totally fine! I love that you’re interested in knowing. I really appreciate that actually. ❤️❤️

      Like

  5. Anita, Maurice Mckaney
    April 26, 2018 at 3:43 am

    Praise God!! He makes all things new. Thank you for sharing your testimony. I pray that your boldness will encourage many others to turn to the Lord for strength to face this horrible situation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 3:22 pm

      Thank you so much for your prayers and support! God bless you!

      Like

  6. April 26, 2018 at 1:10 am

    I am sorry to hear about your abuse. You know what: These words are most powerful “Trust God, and Do Good”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 26, 2018 at 3:21 pm

      They are very powerful and He’s what’s helping me learn how to keep moving forward and finding joy in my life. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. April 25, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    I pray for your healing. I too have been abused and I know the feeling all to well. You are brave, you got out and you have overcome this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 25, 2018 at 10:36 pm

      Thank you! I’ll pray for you too! It’s definitely not easy to overcome and I know I still struggle in some ways, but God’s teaching me how to stay peaceful and to find joy every day. God bless! ❤️

      Like

  8. Neil Alvin Nicerio
    April 25, 2018 at 4:44 am

    Oh gosh, sorry to hear that you were abused. 😦 I feel you. Thanks for sharing these inspiring article.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. ZyraKuma
    April 25, 2018 at 4:35 am

    You are so brave. This is so heartbreaking, I’m sorry this had happened to you. I use to be in a toxic and abusive relationship when I was 14, so it’s hard to for to actually be happy in a relationship (my current relationship still has flaws, yes). I’m happy that you’re starting over again with a new and healthy perspective!

    Liked by 1 person

    • April 25, 2018 at 2:32 pm

      Thank you for your love! I’m so sorry about that. Honestly, it’s something that will trigger us in new relationships and there is NO perfect relationship in this world. We need to be happy with ourselves first and forgive our past (it’s hard and I’m still working on it too) but there’s beauty in everything.. keep focusing on the things that bring you joy. God bless! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  10. April 25, 2018 at 2:08 am

    I’m so sorry for the pain and hurt you’ve experienced. But thank God you’re still here to share your story! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Tammy Oberg De La Garza
    April 24, 2018 at 9:51 pm

    These words!!! “I’m falling in love with the one I should have been in love with from the beginning.” YES!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: