Last summer (2017), I remember wanting a change in my life. I wanted my circumstances to change, and I also wanted those around me to change. I was tired of feeling unappreciated and alone even when I wasn’t alone. I wanted my partner to make me happy and to love me the way I wanted him to.
It had only been a few months that my boyfriend at the time and I had begun to attend a Christian Church. We later were baptized the same day in June, 2017. I remember one night that summer praying out loud next to him on a mattress he had on the floor “Lord, change me first!” As I began to learn more about God, I began to fear Him more. I soon realized that I needed to change. And when I prayed about it the first time, I really meant it.
Oh, It didn’t take long for God to answer my prayer.
That summer, my boyfriend at the time and I were not the happiest couple. We both wanted to change each other. He wanted more alone time and I wanted more quality time and comunication. I desired compromise and a balance in our relationship. Somehow, we couldn’t make it work and we were both feeling unloved. On top of that, we didn’t know how to fight for each other. Instead, we fought against each other which caused both emotional and physical pain.
Fast forward to almost a year later, I see why that relationship didn’t work out. Although I desired God to change him, God was answering my prayer and was changing me first. I realized that once I began to change, then my circumstances and the people around me would change. It hasn’t been an easy ride. I’ve cried, a lot. I’ve experienced confusion. I’ve lost people. But in the midst of it all, I’ve gained so much more than I could have imagined! This is grace…
We can not change others, but you can allow God to change you so that your circumstances change. With Jesus Christ as your savior, you can live a different way. You can have peace. You can sleep well at night. You can learn to love yourself. You can restore relationships that have been ruined. Your mind can be renewed so that you learn what to say yes to and what to say not to. No one can make you happy, thats your job and I learned that the hard way as I searched for love and joy in many romantic relationships. As Jesus says, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” ~John 10:10
Are you tired of seeking love and joy that never lasts? Tired of being surrounded by people that only cause you more stress? YOU have the opportunity to be changed and have a new life, don’t waste it.
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” ~Matthew 5:16
Trust God, and Do Good…
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