Pain Becomes Our Teacher

Today, August 14, 2018, would have been eight years of being married. I was eighteen years old at the time, with barely three months out of high school and my then husband was twenty seven years of age.

That day, I remember having doubts about the huge commitment I was about to make. But, my desire to be a wife was way greater than those fears and doubts. I went through with it anyway, and later on that same day I had realized what a huge mistake I had made.

I won’t share everything that happened throughout my marriage in this post, but what I can say is that although we had our good moments, it was also filled with lies, infidelity, and both mental and physical abuse. We split up after four years of marriage and finalized our divorce in 2015.

Although I felt free from the relationship after our divorce, the scars will always remain…

I later on got myself into another long term relationship that moved fairly quick. We were on and off due to our own fears and past mistakes. Despite our relationship hiccups, we became engaged to be married in November of 2017, which only lasted until February 2018.

But you know what?

I used to beat myself up for these and many more events that have happened in my life. Yes, scars will always remain, but when we learn to look at them and see how much stronger and wiser we’ve become, then nothing else matters!

There’s no greater feeling than the feeling of connecting with people that are struggling through the things you’ve overcome! You begin to realize that YOU are being used to help someone have hope for a better future…

My life today as a single woman, is completely different than what it was when I was in relationships. I’ve learned to forgive my past, forgive people, and most importantly,

I have learned to forgive myself…

You CAN NOT live the life you dream of having if you keep holding on to your past failures and regrets. Life goes on, and so should YOU. And only you have the power to make a decision to change, because even if the world around you doesn’t change YOU CAN.

…One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on…

All of us who are mature think this way, and if anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.

~Philippians 3:13-16

Don’t live focused on your past failures and regrets. Remember, you give power to what you focus on. Instead, give all power to God, and live full of hope and joy to what’s yet to come.

Trust God, and Do Good… 🙂

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