Hello beautiful friends!
Today’s post was inspired by Lysa TerKeurst’s Bible study on her book “Uninvited.” As I’m going through the study, I am asked to look back into my life and write about the times I have personally felt rejected and how I really felt in those situations. As I’m looking back into those moments, I realize how much they affected me in making decisions later on in life. But you know what? I also realize that because I am more focused on God and deeply desiring to hear His voice and commands, i’ve become more confident and not so self-centered, nor have I been as tempted to believe the lies of my past.
I mentioned in my previous blog post, ( How to live full of love and confidence ) how I make it a daily choice to surrender all to God and let Him heal me from my past hurts and the steps I’ve taken that have helped me become a more confident woman.
I want to share with you two of what I felt were my most painful situations in my past.
As you might already have read, I was married at the age of eighteen up until I was twenty-two and my now ex-husband was nine years older than me. Our marriage was not the best from the beginning and actually not so great as we dated, but long story short I felt rejected by him a lot of the time. I felt like we couldn’t go out anywhere together because there was always another girl that would capture his attention. It didn’t matter to him if we were walking together at the mall, he’d still allow his eyes to follow another woman until she’d disappear from his distance. At the time, I would invite him to beauty school so that I could practice haircuts on him for my school credits, but I hated how each time he joined me he acted so distracted by all the other girls. But what hurt me the most was the time I caught him watching porn. I felt humiliated! I was completely disgusted by his action and I felt betrayed. My mind raised to the worst thoughts. I felt ugly, worthless, and not good enough for him. This was only the beginning of our marriage and it didn’t change, it only got worse. After still dealing with porn, his infidelities of speaking to other girls through social media, and endless arguments that involved physical and emotional abuse, I felt like I had hit rock bottom with no way out. (Except, there was a way out 😉 …)
I read today a passage from Isaiah 53:3-5, and I felt comforted by the understanding of how Jesus was despised, rejected by mankind, crushed and so much more. He also felt what we often feel. He lived it and modeled to us how even though He suffered His eyes were still fixed on God. Even His own family said, “He is out of His mind.” in ~Mark 3:21, which reminded me of another painful situation in my life when I chose to become baptized as a Christian in 2017 and my family had no desire to join me, which they didn’t. I was criticized, but God gave me His confidence to follow Him no matter what.
My friends, whatever you are going through, however you may be feeling rejected, there’s always a way out. Our pain and suffering is often caused by things done to us. But Jesus’s punishment on the cross brought us peace, and brought us healing, (Isaiah 53:5).
Every rejection is a redirection…
I love how Lysa TerKeurst used a Bible verse to help us meditate on God’s truth and to not get stuck on those nagging negative voices in our minds that no longer serve us.
Read Ephesians 1:4-5, and then replace the word “us” with “me” like this…
Even before He made the world, God loved me and chose me in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. God decided in advance to adopt me into His own family by bringing me to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.
~Ephesians 1:4-5 (paraphrased)
Thank you for spending time with me!
Trust God, and Do Good 🙂