I don’t know about you, but somehow through the end of the year and the beginning of this new year I find myself reflecting on all that’s happened as I go back through pictures I’ve taken on my phone and reading journal entries I’ve written not only in the year 2019 but even years before. I’m honestly in awe of how much has happened.
It’s so easy to sometimes feel like nothing is changing in our lives, or to even feel as if our prayers are unheard when that could be so far from the truth. Simply because we experience these thoughts or feelings doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. If and when we take the time to be still and reflect is when we actually see how God has been answering prayers and especially how He continues to change us.
I’m guilty of sometimes wanting God to answer prayers on my timing or in my way as if I think I know what’s best for my life. Can you relate?
You see, a lot of the times we pray for desires that we have in our hearts, but who do you think places these desires in you? Maybe you’re praying for a new career path, to be thinner, to be debt free, a wife/husband or even if you’re married you may even be praying to have a better wife/husband than the one you already have! 😉 God wants to change You my friend.
We long for things because it’s our human nature to desire fulfillment in them, but only God can truly satisfy us. Material possessions, physical pleasures, or wanting to feel significant aren’t bad, they become unhealthy when we are consumed by them which eventually lead to destruction.
I recently became obsessed again over a similar project I wanted to complete back in August of 2018, which I actually ended up signing a contract with a company here in Illinois, but ended up backing out of it for personal reasons. This project was something that’s called “tiny homes on wheels,” which are homes built with a square footage between 100-400 square feet and are normally able to be picked up and moved around with a pickup truck.
(The pictures above are actually ones I took on a retreat in WI this past year. This tiny home is product of the company I was working with, “Titan Tiny Homes” located in Elgin, Illinois. Contact Bob Clarizio if you’re interested in one or check out his You Tube).
Well these past few months I began to obsess over something similar except it’s a concept known as #vanlife. Van life are people who use any type of vans, typically sprinter vans, to convert them into homes that are easy to travel and live in.
(Pictures above I found online of a van conversion).
The reason why I share this with you is because sometimes it’s very easy to obsess over something that might not make complete sense in the moment. I personally know that with these two events I reached out to companies asking for quotes on projects I not only knew I could not afford, but especially the fact that even as I prayed for them I didn’t wait on God to give me clear vision for them. Instead I got all excited and obsessed over them equally and jumped on trying to make them happen on my own strength (which I tend to do). I still don’t know exactly why I desire these things other than the fact that I’m attracted to the “less is more” idea and having my own home.
For a while now even before any of this, I’ve been praying and asking God to teach me how to hear/discern His voice and to have the courage to act upon what He calls me to do because i’m tired of running around in circles and sometimes even envying how God speaks to others.
Remember how I told you that God does answer prayers? January 5, 2020, my church started Daniel’s fast, which is 21 days of fasting on certain foods in order to use that time for prayer. As I’m fasting and spending more time in prayer and in God’s word, I can tell that His voice is once again becoming more clear to me, but He first had to help me believe again that He does speak to me. I just had to be willing enough to be still and listen.
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” ~Matthew 6:19-21
This scripture came up more than once and it spoke to me in many ways as He also reminded me, “Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” ~Proverbs 4:23.
It’s not that my desire for any of this is bad, nor does it mean that God won’t provide for them. God is always in the business of changing us from within. Yes! He wants to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts as He reminds us in Matthew 7:7, but He first searches our hearts and guides us towards what He knows we need. It’s not about money, job titles, nor possessions, but about our relationship with the Holy spirit that we received through Jesus Christ.
My pastor said something really funny but true this past Sunday, “God is not our sugar daddy!” So true! Although we’re not here for blessing, He will bless us according to His purposes. Everything we have, all that we are, and all we will become is for His glory and we need to remember to thank Him for everything.
God, thank you for everything that You are and the grace that You give me. Forgive me for sometimes becoming impatient and trying to do things on my own strength. Lord, I pray to continue learning from You enough to discern your voice in order to obey You. Let all that I do and all that I am please You and bring glory to Your name. In Jesus Christ I pray, amen.
Trust God, and Do Good 🙂